Who Did It?
by imlaughingnow
Summary: In which Beck tries to propose to Jade but accidentally orchestrates a sex talk from Sikowitz instead. /\ "I can't believe they thought we were virgins." "Me neither; idiots." Bade Prompts. Catorade friendship.


**Disclaimer: no.**

**This is for Bade Prompts, but ofc my wifi stopped and this is the only time I've been able to post it. I'm not even home. That's how bad things are. I really tried, but my wifi isn't even back yet. My prompt for the whole proposal thing was: **_But I'd like to know who did it. _

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**(.x.)**

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**Sex ED, Virgins and Fancy Rings**

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18 birthdays.

4 years together- unofficially 5.

6 friends.

1 awful proposal.

And this is how it goes.

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The last day of Hollywood Arts had engraved itself inside their minds. Beck held Jade's hand tighter than she could ever remember him doing. Robbie blushed as he presented Cat with a big, neon sunflower and she, in return giggled and clasped her hands around his neck in a tight hug. Tori and Andre performed the last song they ever would in a while. Especially since Andre decided to do medicine after his Grandmother's death by Alzheimer's. Tori too, reconsidered her decision to make it shine and decided to take a year off and do something useful. Her dad patted her on the back and boasted to all his friends that she was following in his footsteps. Tori never heard of her mother (who had taken her things and ran away with Dave to some suburban town in New Orleans), so law it was.

"Well, this is it." Tori said and cleared her throat, eying her friends expectantly. Jade would have rolled her eyes at the teary expression on Tori's face if Cat wasn't already crying. "This is where it all happened." She motioned to the empty hallway.

"Nobody's movin'," Andre said, rubbing a weary hand over his face.

"You're right," Jade said, "later haters." And she pulled Beck along with her. She never gave her friends a sparing glance. She didn't know why they weren't moving but she had things to do. Okay, she didn't, she just wanted to go home to sleep. Home because Beck's RV was disgustingly disorganized and she refused to spend the night unless he cleaned up.

Almost as if on cue, Sikowitz came running through the hallway, pass what used to be Tori's Make It Shine locker (because they had to take down their own doors and the school replaced them with average, grey pieces of metal, feigning normality). "Wait, wait!" He was yelling.

"I really don't want to," Jade sighed, her back still to her former teacher but Beck nudged her in the side and she rolled her eyes and dropped his hand as she turned to face her former (really, favourite) teacher. By now the remaining gang had gathered around, because that was just what they did whenever Sikowitz started yelling. It was almost a reflex action by now.

"What's going on, Sikowtiz?" Robbie asked sans Rex (a bit too eagerly if you asked Jade). He leaned forward and winked at the balding man while Cat giggled into her hand. Jade narrowed her eyes but Beck shrugged his shoulders while Tori and Andre mirrored each other's curious expression.

"As you begin your journey into the real world, I thought I'd prepare some tips for my favourite students." Sikowitz started. Then he paused for dramatic effect while Tori and even Jade leaned in. "Sex is bad."

"This better not be what I think it is," Jade stepped back, blue orbs wide with horror.

Beck exploded into a coughing fit.

Andre scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.

Robbie spluttered and blushed furiously.

Tori was stammering a sentence she would never complete.

And Cat was giggling uncontrollably.

"Um, are you sure that's what you really wanted to say, Sikowitz?" Tori prompted and Jade rolled her eyes again, because that's how she usually dealt with things Tori did.

"Yeah Sikowitz, do you, um, wanna re-think that?" Robbie did his awkward winking thing again.

"Are you having a seizure right now?" Jade hissed at the curly haired boy.

"No, if I were I'd be-"

"Then stop blinking so much. You look like an idiot."

"Jade," Tori patronized. "Be nice. Robbie can't help how weird he is."

"Hey!" Robbie protested but Sikowitz cut in before Robbie could defend himself.

"No, this is what I want to say! Sex is bad. Do you know why?" Sikowitz started to pace.

"Um, because you can get pregnant?" Tori guessed, shrugging her shoulders.

"But I love babies!" Cat gasped.

"Cat, no," Beck shook his head slowly, "no babies." Jade snorted at Cat's crestfallen face and Robbie squeaked and jumped away from the redhead.

"If that were the case, then none of you would be born," Sikowitz commented, "come on, try again!" He was hopping from foot to foot now.

"Because you can get a STD?" Robbie avoided eye contact as he asked.

"Why? Do you need some kind of medicine?" Jade asked skeptically. Andre smirked while Beck heaved a heavy sigh.

"When a man and a woman have sex, they-"

"NO!" Cat clamped her hands over her ears. "La, la, la."

"I was only trying to say-" Sikowitz tried again.

"DON'T FINISH THAT SENTENCE!" Tori hollered next to Cat.

"WILL YOU JUST LISTEN?"

"No thanks, man." Andre shook his head and raised his hand up in surrender.

"THEY'RE JOINED TOGETHER. AN IRREVERSIBLE LINK." Sikowitz shouted, causing Robbie to snap his mouth shut and Jade cocked her head to the side. Beck had inched closer towards Sikowitz and was motioning wildly. "That was all I was going to say! What were you thinking?"

"Erm, nothing. You continue." Tori blushed a ferocious red as Jade pulled Cat's hands from over her ears.

"Sex is bad because it leads to marriage. I mean, who wants to be held down by one person for the rest of their life?" Sikowitz folded his arms and tapped his index finger against his chin thoughtfully. Beck was now motioning like mad and Jade stepped away from him, she hated people who motioned obnoxiously- and Beck knew that. How annoying.

"My mum and dad say they'll be together forever." Cat's eyes fluttered shut and she clasped her hands together near her heart in a romantic gesture of sorts. Tori stiffened and didn't comment.

"What is the point of this? You're wasting my time. I'm leaving." Jade huffed.

"NO!" Came four voices simultaneously with a single, "YES," from Beck.

"But I would really like to know who did _it_." Sikowitz spoke up and his gaze fell upon Jade and Beck.

"You're sick." Jade cut in.

"I'll have you know I'm still a virgin!" Robbie responded hotly.

"Big surprise there." Jade snorted and Beck hid his smile while Andre chortled.

"I wouldn't comment if I were you, Jaaade." Cat said in a sing-song voice.

There was silence, and then:

"CAT!"

"JADE, YOU'RE A VIRGIN?"

"OH, SHUT IT, VEGA."

"BUT-BUT YOU AND BECK ARE ALWAYS- IN THE HALLWAY. HIS RV. AND YOU SPEND THE NIGHT- HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?"

"Not everyone hands away their virginity within three weeks of dating, Vega."

"IT WAS ONE TIME."

"Beck man, why didn't you tell me you were still a virgin?"

"It's not really something I could've casually brought up in conversation, was it Andre?"

"There's nothing wrong with being a virgin!" Robbie was working to defend himself- and his two friends by extension.

"But I thought you always said you were waiting 'till marriage?" Cat pouted.

"HONESTLY? DO YOU NOT KNOW HOW TO KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT?"

"Aww, Jade, that's so cute!"

"Ugh, don't touch me."

"OH!" Sikowitz bellowed suddenly, clapping his hands, "if I knew you were both virgins, Beck I would've skipped the introduction and gone straight for the pitch."

"What?" Jade pursed her lips sourly. "Beck asked you to give us the 'Sex Talk'?"

"No, he asked me if I thought you two would-" but then Tori pinched Robbie's arm and he let out a loud wail and Jade never heard the rest of Sikowitz's answer.

"Oh Beck!" Cat started suddenly and pulled a small velvet box out of her pink backpack that hung over her shoulder. "You told me to give this to you after school!"

Beck paled, he elbowed Jade out of the way eliciting an eloquent response of, "What the fu-"

"No Cat, I said _not _to give it to me after school anymore."

"Jade, no." Tori shouted before tackling the girl into a hug.

"Get off of me." Jade shoved the Latina off of her and dusted what she liked to call the _Vega Cooties_ off of her clothes.

"Did I miss it? Don't do it yet! I need to be there!" Trina's voice wafted down the hallway before she came scurrying over with a precariously large camera strapped around her neck.

"Trina, he didn't-" Andre tugged the girl by the hand and pulled her to a stop in her ridiculous heels.

"Why are you here? You graduated last year." Jade had stepped back and was watching the scene unfold in front of her with scornful eyes and crossed arms.

"Well, I was planning to do this tonight, but-" Beck shrugged and grabbed the box from Cat's hand and turned to his girlfriend, "Jade, will you marry me?" One of his hands was shoved inside his jeans pocket and the other held the now open box to her, lamely.

She eyed him critically and the way nobody else was surprised- nobody but her anyway. "No." She said stubbornly.

"Great- wait...no?" Beck hesitated and his eyes widened, adopting a panicked expression. "What do you mean no? Are they allowed to say no?" He rushed out, turning to their friends helplessly.

"That was the _lamest_ proposal I have ever seen." Jade said, but she was examining her nails with a placid expression on her face. Nobody heard the swoosh of the blood rushing to her head but her. Well, maybe Tori because she had inched dangerously close to Jade, almost as if she were choosing sides.

"It was pretty lame," Tori nodded.

"Hey!" Beck shot Tori a hasty glare, "it wasn't supposed to be like this. I cleaned out my RV. I was making dinner- your favourite- I had wine. My mum helped me decorate and everything. It took me forever to plan and then, then Sikowitz came and-"

"-you asked me to-"

"-ruined everything-"

"-help you figure out how to propose-"

"-I mean, I did ask for his help, but that was months ago-"

"Months?" Jade's eyebrows shot up into her forehead.

"Trust me, Jade, it was months. He never shut up about it." Andre snickered.

Beck continued, barely letting his words sink in. It was probably the most he had ever said to any one of his friends in one go. He was running a hand through his hair as if it would make Jade say yes. He had done it so many times it was sticking up in odd areas around his face- not exactly screaming calm and collected. His clothes were disheveled and he was clutching the box tightly in right hand. "Then Cat pulled out the ring in front of you-"

"-WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN-"

"-and Robbie and the winking. The winking was just horrible-"

"-My winking is not horrible-"

"-He does have a weird wink." Jade commented and Sikowitz nodded in agreement.

"And when I thought I could still salvage the moment, Trina came running down the hallway-"

"-I told you to text me when it was happening, Tori!" Trina pouted.

"Well, _did_ I text you? No." Tori hissed and Trina shrugged.

"-I promise it will be better tonight. I swear. I got scented candles- I know how much you love those. And my mum helped me make the lasagna. And we made the orange juice ourselves and I took out all the pulp-"

"Ugh, Beck, _shut up_." Jade rolled her eyes and clicked her tongue before she stalked over to her boyfriend and gave him a hasty kiss. "You can get a do-over but if you screw that up too, I can't help you. Got it?"

Beck pumped a fist in the air and enveloped Jade in a wild, tight hug and clung to her desperately. "Thank you, Jade. Oh thank you Jade! I don't know what I would've done if you actually said no."

"For crying out loud, man up!" Jade pulled herself out of the hug but nobody missed her wicked grin.

"Wooow." Andre drawled out, clearly unimpressed with Beck asserting his masculinity and all that.

"Oh yay, Jade! You're getting married!" Cat clapped her hands together giddily.

"I didn't say yes, yet." The pale girl smarted and Beck almost broke into a cold sweat.

"What- what do you mean you haven't-"

"Beck, chill." Andre slapped him on the back.

"I can't wait to be a bridesmaid." Tori enveloped Jade into a hug and for once, Jade didn't pull away.

"Who says you're going to be a bridesmaid?" But they both knew her words held no weight.

After everyone said the congratulations and Trina snapped pictures (mostly of herself), they all agreed for a celebratory lunch at a fancy-shmancy restaurant- one in which they could only afford appetizers. While the gang exited the school, Beck tugged on Jade's arm softly and whispered, "You are going to say yes, right?" With a furrow of his eyebrows and a crease in his forehead.

"I'll act surprised tonight when you propose again." She smiled and snuck a quick kiss on his cheek and Beck's cheeks stung red and he grinned widely at her.

"I can't believe they thought we were virgins." Beck snickered and snaked his hands around her waist.

"Me neither; idiots"

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**Fini**

**(.X.)**

**So yeah, I made this really lighthearted because that was what I was feelin' at the time, don't ask. It's not very good and a bit short, but I figured everyone could have used a laugh with the cancellation and everything. Also, if anyone cares, I'm actually halfway through the next chapter of Shadows and Echoes. Ok, a quarter. **

**Cheers. **


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